who am i then? thats a loaded question. an impossible one.
i find myself at the top of a skyscraper in the middle of the night. looking down at the world asleep and alive. all i want to do it listen to a sad song. feel the crushing weight of hope. the uncertainty of absolute truth. find myself flowing along in gods mysterious design. is this where im suppose to be? is this who im suppose to be? is he sad? is he victorious? does he care? does my soul hold any weight? do we factor into his day at all?
its so still up here. am i at peace? or just still?
i am who i am. i know what i know. aware of all i dont. ive seen what ive seen. im the shape that i am. all that has happened to me and all that ive interpreted. all that ive stored and all that ive lost.
its an empty space. a tangled ribbon. a deadend staircase. a crying child.
put me to sleep. let me rest. not knowing the way is exhausting. i just want to rest. take my hand. slip off the ledge. carry me home.
"bury me up north, if i cant find the way back"